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Dec. 17th, 2009 08:48 pmJust before 4 AM today, a 20 year old student killed himself by jumping off one of the parking garages on campus.
No, I didn't know him. Yes, I know people who did.
I feel worn out over it. Not in an "oh, this is tiresome" way, but in an "exhausted from carrying a heavy thing" sort of way. I have spent my day trying to bear witness to the thing, and to stop myself when I start thinking the well-meaning bullshit that people are trained to say and think around suicide.
Total on-campus enrollment is close to 30,000. It's a mathematical certainty that in any given academic year, not all of those students will live. It's hard. It sucks. Today was busy and I spent all day working in buildings right next to that garage, surrounded by people who were completely oblivious and had other wants and needs. Urgent, desperate wants and needs that felt like life or death to them, even. Except not.
No, I didn't know him. Yes, I know people who did.
I feel worn out over it. Not in an "oh, this is tiresome" way, but in an "exhausted from carrying a heavy thing" sort of way. I have spent my day trying to bear witness to the thing, and to stop myself when I start thinking the well-meaning bullshit that people are trained to say and think around suicide.
Total on-campus enrollment is close to 30,000. It's a mathematical certainty that in any given academic year, not all of those students will live. It's hard. It sucks. Today was busy and I spent all day working in buildings right next to that garage, surrounded by people who were completely oblivious and had other wants and needs. Urgent, desperate wants and needs that felt like life or death to them, even. Except not.
