2011 in review

With only about six hours left until the end of 2011, I figure I'd better get moving if I intend to write any sort of Year in Review thing.

Last year I set five goals here on the blog: complete my AODA candidate year, graduate from college, make something awesome, keep making progress repairing my finances, and be better at showing gratitude.

With the exception of the first (which got somewhat waylaid by the second, though I plan to finish up in the next couple of months), I think I've at least made a dent in each of these. I walked in May. I had work (poetry, short story, and a novella) published in three anthologies and did nine months of Hold Something. I resolved some bad old debts, improved my budget, and did a fundraiser to help me get closer to surgery. I've been spotty at it, but I've tried to send thank you cards more often than I don't, and to say "thank you" more just in general.

Not full marks, but on the whole, I think I did okay.

Five Things That Were Difficult About 2011

- My mother's health has changed more this year than I was really prepared for. There's been a lot of time spent in the hospital, changes in how I structure my time, and a lot more in the way of uncertainty than I'm really okay with. It's hard, being an only child with no other blood kin to help carry the load. My friends are trying, and I love them for it, but I'm still learning how to navigate a lot of this. There is no manual for it, and it sucks.

- I learned this year that sometimes I really am finite and need to pull back. I went into October thinking I could work full-time, work the haunt, and write on a schedule. I came out of October with a pile of things to do, and then my mom went into the hospital for a week. Crashing and burning for an entire quarter has been really instructive in terms of self-care, but does learning really have to be this awful?

- One of my favorite workmates committed suicide in January. I miss him a lot, and still ache about it.

- I wasn't able to afford to do some necessary home repairs, and my long trudge up the mountain of resolving financial problems is just that: a long, long trudge up a very big mountain.

- I'm ending 2011 still wearing a binder. I had some eggs in that particular emotional basket, and while I know this isn't really a failure -- see the extraordinary kindness of others I experienced between June and November -- disappointment sucks.

Five Things That Were Fabulous About 2011

- The extraordinary kindness of others! Holy crap, you guys. The Internet has helped me get closer to top surgery than I have ever been. This is a thing that is creeping ever more toward possible. I feel very fortunate. Thank you.

- Guitar. For a thing that kind of started as a bit of a ridiculous in-jokey pact, and especially for a thing that I don't make enough time for in order to be as good at it as quickly as I'd like, it's been really satisfying. This is due in no small part to my guitar teacher Lucas, who's been grand. Also, I discovered today that I can play the ukulele, which probably wouldn't have ever happened without going back to guitar.

- Meeting some OBOD folks here in Missouri. Solitary pagan practice can be both deep and satisfying, but having actual peers that I can see and talk to and spend time with has been tremendously good.

- All the good writing things that have happened this year, like doing nine months of Hold Something, selling my first novella, seeing a piece that I enjoyed writing make it to print in Subversion, and placing in this year's CCMWG judging for Well Versed 2011.

- Working the haunt. Logistical car crashes in November aside, being a monster for a month was absolutely incredible. I met some fantastic people, got to try new things, and had a lot of fun remembering how much I love performing.

Five Things I Want To Do in 2012

- Freak out and make stuff. Writing is still the focus, but I want to keep saying yes to creative adventure as much as I can.

- Continue my studies in druidry and spirituality. I'm aiming to finish my initial AODA work very soon, and have been seriously looking into OBOD of late as well, and really reflecting on how these groups' study programs fit into my overall hopes in terms of study and personal development.

- Commit to and complete the 100 push-ups challenge. I started this once but never finished. I'd like to finish this time.

- Be more focused about social justice and causes. I've discovered this year that I'll spread myself too thin in ways that tend to result in me feeling worried and angry far more than is healthy. I can do more good more effectively if I'm not running in all directions. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what this looks like in practice, but the intention is there.

- Keep trudging up the financial mountain. It sucks, but it has to be done, and I know that if I keep working at it things will get better. It's just unpleasant and scary while it's a work in progress.

And that was 2011. Bring on 2012!

This post has been mirrored from Christian A. Young's Dimlight Archive. To see it in its original format, visit dimlightarchive.com