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bodlonDo we spoiler-cut for the 2010 Asylum version of Sherlock Holmes? Ah well. Better part of valor.
No, really. Somewhere in between hearing about this thing and seeing it tonight (thank you, streaming Netflix on the Wii) I'd completely blanked on the fact that there's a dinosaur in this. Which is absurd, of course. I mean, who doesn't instantly think "dinosaurs!" when someone mentions Sherlock Holmes? I know I do.
Also, putting GDL as Ianto Jones next to GDL as Watson might just be the most effective demonstration of good suit v. bad suit I have ever seen. Observe.
Good suit:
Bad suit:
Never have I been so close to calling around for a recommendations for a good alterations shop.
To my not-quite shame, I actually had fun watching this. It was good like bad Doctor Who is good. Oh sure, the plot is ridiculous and the effects are bad. You still get monsters, plenty of explosions, and science so ridiculous that even I go "wait, what?!" Eviltin copper Dominic Keating was a hoot.
I'm already writing the fanfic in my head where Snyder's Holmes is actually the Eighth Doctor (how else can we justify him being able to tell the smell of cod from other fish?), Watson's Ianto's grandfather, and Keating's character is some kind of cyberized Master. The spooky lady in black is obviously Miss Hartigan, revived by the Master to help him wreak havoc, whereas the girl taking dictation ends up joining Torchwood...
I DIDN'T SAY I WAS PROUD, OKAY.
Really, though, this is The Asylum we're talking about. As in Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. That had Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson in it. Quibbling over quality with a company that aims to make awesomely bad B movies is like getting bent out of shape when your McNuggetini tastes a little crazy. Really, the only thing about the whole thing that made me go "WTF?!" is exactly what my icon says: there's a woeful lack of cocaine and violining in this. Holmes' vice turns out to be tobacco.
Tobacco.
Children, refer to the "bad suit" photograph again. $5 says that the object in GDL's ill-fitting trousers is a pack of fags. And while we're on the topic of GDL, is it just me or could the man have gay subtext with a suitcase?
I'm just saying as all.
So yeah, this one gets Three Utterly Ridiculous Airships out of five.
No, really. Somewhere in between hearing about this thing and seeing it tonight (thank you, streaming Netflix on the Wii) I'd completely blanked on the fact that there's a dinosaur in this. Which is absurd, of course. I mean, who doesn't instantly think "dinosaurs!" when someone mentions Sherlock Holmes? I know I do.
Also, putting GDL as Ianto Jones next to GDL as Watson might just be the most effective demonstration of good suit v. bad suit I have ever seen. Observe.
Good suit:
Bad suit:
Never have I been so close to calling around for a recommendations for a good alterations shop.
To my not-quite shame, I actually had fun watching this. It was good like bad Doctor Who is good. Oh sure, the plot is ridiculous and the effects are bad. You still get monsters, plenty of explosions, and science so ridiculous that even I go "wait, what?!" Evil
I'm already writing the fanfic in my head where Snyder's Holmes is actually the Eighth Doctor (how else can we justify him being able to tell the smell of cod from other fish?), Watson's Ianto's grandfather, and Keating's character is some kind of cyberized Master. The spooky lady in black is obviously Miss Hartigan, revived by the Master to help him wreak havoc, whereas the girl taking dictation ends up joining Torchwood...
I DIDN'T SAY I WAS PROUD, OKAY.
Really, though, this is The Asylum we're talking about. As in Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. That had Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson in it. Quibbling over quality with a company that aims to make awesomely bad B movies is like getting bent out of shape when your McNuggetini tastes a little crazy. Really, the only thing about the whole thing that made me go "WTF?!" is exactly what my icon says: there's a woeful lack of cocaine and violining in this. Holmes' vice turns out to be tobacco.
Tobacco.
Children, refer to the "bad suit" photograph again. $5 says that the object in GDL's ill-fitting trousers is a pack of fags. And while we're on the topic of GDL, is it just me or could the man have gay subtext with a suitcase?
I'm just saying as all.
So yeah, this one gets Three Utterly Ridiculous Airships out of five.
