We close our eyes and dream…

[bodlon]

…and another year has come and gone. Ye gods, but I love Oingo Boingo.

So. 2010 has been a Year. I wrote last New Year’s Day in a journal about how excited I am to be living in the future. 2010 is a number that screams brilliance, flying cars, and renewal. Overall, I’m still a fan. I’m equally delighted by 2011 — with improbable-looking dates like 1/1/11, 11/1/11, and 11/11/11, who wouldn’t be? — and all the good, future-y things that are to come. I pity the latest crop of college freshmen who are missing out on the wide-eyed wonder that I experience looking at these dates.

Reviewing my goals for 2010, I feel like I did alright. I got good tattoos (though I still wish I had a good map of Amphigenous and Cymbeline to have inked on my shoulder). I went to Gally and workshopped and made progress on my finances. Certain lifestyle changes could have been better executed, and my participation in certain circles wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for, but I feel more connected with who I want to be than I did at the end of last year. Writing was a mixed bag, but I had a string of useful learning experiences, and there is a Secret Thing that makes me feel I’m ending the year on an up-note. Spirituality is always a work in progress, but I’m satisfied with the effort, which is nice.

Five Things That Were Difficult About 2010

- Some friendships I cherished ended this year, and I’m still feeling wounded over it. I don’t regret everything about the situation, but I do regret the loss.

- Being single for the first time in 11 years is a bit of a shock to the system. When it happened over the Census on the day after my current relationship’s 7 year mark, that’s worthy of a merit badge.

- Getting to know Steve Perry, someone whose work was a major childhood influence, just in time for him to be murdered was horrible, full stop.

- Losing Dr. Pam, the professor who helped me reclaim my writing, was heartbreaking. That I’ve been mourning alone because my absence and transition has cut me off from virtually anyone who could be a comfort has been very, very hard.

- Fourth of July weekend in the hospital with mom was some of the most harrowing son work I’ve ever had to do.

Ten Things That Were Amazing About 2010

- Flying, even if I got a terrible case of airplane ear between Phoenix and STL. I had the best random travel partner in the world on the way to LA, and got an unexpected window seat on the second leg of the return trip. Cities in the dark from cloud level are absolutely amazing, as are clouds in moonlight as viewed from above.

- Turning thirty. It feels good on me. Thirty-one doesn’t sound half bad either.

- Adventures. Namely Gallifrey One and the slightly disastrous (but still good in spite of getting sick, mosquitoes, and sleeping in a tent on somebody’s deck) trip to STL. Adventures are important, and I should continue to find ways to have at least two of them a year.

- Making new friends, getting to know some other friends better, and the pleasant surprises involved in my (slightly bizarre) 12 year high school reunion.

- Singledom is actually a really good state in which to work some things out, and in many ways it’s been a relief.

- Prop 8 lost in court and DADT got repealed. Granted both of these things are still a work in progress, but I remember when DADT seemed like progress too, so I shall accept this sea change and continue to pray, fight, and believe that even better days are coming.

- The completion of my name change. Behold, my gratitude to the conditions and beings who made that possible, and to Katie at Iron Tiger for helping me celebrate with an excellent tattoo.

- Holy crap, my pear tree. I have never seen so many pears at once in my life. Here’s hoping it forgives me for my rudimentary attempt at pruning, and that the jar of pear butter I intend to open soon is good.

- Deciding that trying Druidry really is okay, even if it probably makes me a Bad Reconstructionist. Still, if I have a choice between being bad and trusting my curiosity (and some nudging from an unexpected source), I’ll take bad in a heartbeat.

- Going back to college. It’s hard to be on that campus without Dr. Pam, but the name change was the last of the obstacles to me being ready to go back. I owe it to her, my dear ones, and myself to finish this.

Five Things I want To Do In 2011

- I’ve got an ambitious plan for my AODA Candidate year that will possibly do me a lot of good creatively, spiritually, and materially. I’m nervous, but excited too. Thank goodness I’ve got a blog for these things now.

- Graduate. Unless something has gone horribly askew, I could walk in May. That would be grand.

- Make something awesome. 2010 wasn’t, but maybe 2011 is a book year. It could also be a poetry year, or a really good short story year, or a ‘holy crap, why am I writing more screenplays’ year, or something else I haven’t quite imagined yet.

- Keep making material progress in terms of household and financial life. The hole is shrinking and I’m starting to remember what it was like not to always be desperately in the red. Let’s aim for putting things solidly in the black this year and then maintaining that.

- For the last few years I’ve been less good than I would like at returning favors, showing gratitude, and giving tokens of esteem. A lot of this was borne of material desperation, but this is slowly changing. Putting more of what’s in my heart into action will do me good, and not just because perception is reality.

And that’s about it. 2010.

This post has been mirrored from Christian A. Young's Dimlight Archive. To see it in its original format, visit dimlightarchive.com